Monday, May 9, 2005


I've had a hell of a time lately trying to aquire and maintain motivation. One moment I'll be hyped to get a walking program going then, not more than a minute later, I just don't have the umph to get my ass up to even walk to the door. It's the same with wanting to start my own life, outside the family home. I'll be gung hoe about saving my pennies and really working towards becoming self-sufficiant and then I'll find myself planning something else that'll use up everything I've saved. How does a girl keep up the motivation to do anything?

Is it all the junk I have hanging around? I remember when I was younger I had an immaculate room and felt in control of my life. Now, I have a pathway from the door to my computer and from my computer to my bed. Sure I've cleaned out a lot, but there's still as much stuff to get rid of as stuff that I've cleared out. It frustrates me to no end that I can't get a hold of the control I used to have.


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