Saturday, January 8, 2005


My heart hurts tonight. I've been thinking back about all the things I haven't done and didn't do simply because I was too shy or thought people would laugh at me. That Adam Sandler skit "They're all gonna laugh at you" was unbelievably close to the way I've felt most of my life.

I used to get up on the fireplace hearth when I was 6 or 7 and sing at the top of my lungs to all my favorite tunes. I wasn't scared. But when people started telling me that I sounded terrible I stopped. I don't even sing Happy Birthday anymore, I just mouth the words. And what do I love most in life? Music. Singing. Here I sit, days from being 27 and I'm scared of taking singing lessons just to be able to hit the right notes because it's been said that I'm terrible and nothing will cure it.

I want this year to be the year I fight my fears. As the book is titled, "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway". *sigh* I hope.

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